Get Wisdom

So after a year of waiting and two close calls within two weeks we have had three calls from our agency that we have turned down. I am so in want of a child, my faith waivers at every call. And I really think we are being much more flexible then in the beginning of our quest for twin girls. We really just want two little girls close in age but younger then Seth. So what have the recent calls been? The youngest three in a sib group of five, 9m old girl, 21m old girl and 35m old boy. Can't do that to Seth, or the little boy!!! Next, 7m old triplets - all boys! (the youngest in another sib group of five)We actually consider that!!! I mean we really do, but they are a 45min drive away in the hospital for failure to thrive. I can't physically do that and provide what they need in that situation. I remember the NICU with Seth, I was there everyday, twice a day!!! And then today another call! Babies, TWIN GIRLS!!! and a 2yr old boy! and a seven year old girl... yeah, older then Seth and school age already, plus it is a new removal and rights would be tied up for a year at least, probably two or three!!! But there a twin girls! But it's not right.
I have been pouring over Proverbs trying to seek wisdom! Where is the answer to a question such as this? The big fear is if we keep saying "no" will they stop asking?
Here's the thing that keeps me going. I know God will get us through anything. We can say yes to any of these placements and it would work because God will make it work because that is our ultimate desire. But, I also believe that even though God can do that why should He need to if I can only wait for the exactly perfect placement He has planned for us! I have to be confident in His plan and not jump the gun just to get a little one in my arms immediately. Doesn't mean my heart doesn't ache each time we say no, or especially when we think we are getting a placement and then it falls through.
"Hear my son, and receive my sayings, And the years of your life will be many. I have taught you in the way of wisdom; I have led you in right paths. When you walk, your steps will not be hindered, And when you run, you will not stumble. Take firm hold of instruction, do not let go; Keep her, for she is your life."